Nobody being happy with me

He said it once and for all.
"I'm not happy with this"
Why?
Why?
He has the right to be not happy with my decision but why does he have to express it in order to hurt my feelings.
Or is it the other way, that is, I'm simply hurting myself with these feelings.

What can he do to worsen my situation?

He can use his power to make my life miserable by:
Manipulating my performance
Denying me opportunities to work
Denying me opportunities to get a good job
and so on.

But is that all? No, he can do more.
I feel the pain.

Should I expect everyone to love me, because I feel that I'm a good guy- No
Should I expect that no one should be angry with me as I'm a nice guy - No

What should I do then

Just close your eyes and your ears
Take a deep breath
Realize the fact that you are on your own with your beliefs, your values and your attitude & you function in your own manner

Just say this aloud to your self "I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE","I DON'T CARE"
until you feel alright.

The Shepard who took me down

It was just another occasion of compulsory attendance. I really wanted to be out of the loop. The reason was simple from my point of view - I had my share of responsibilities to meet. But when I met the authorities for exemption, they took my case with extreme prejudice as if my intentions had no value attached. Finally they gave me the exemption but made me feel really bad about it. So bad that I wanted to commit Seppuku just right there.
My mind was cluttered by the words of the Shepard,who led them. My actions had turned out to be real reactionary ones and that too against me. His words still haunt me and I feel they are suffocating me giving me no hope for the time to come.
I hope to survive this debacle but can I make it. This question will pester me atleast for next few days. I have to do something about it.I do, yes I do.

Mecathusra 1

"It was never worth it"
"I know"
"But u still did it"
"Yes, I had to do it"
"Why"
"I don't know and don't want to know"
"Its really silly of u"
"Yes, that is why we are still talking"
"Ok, then lets stop it"

Taking down the Alsatian

Exams were over and the new term is up.
Still the Alsatian stuck in my throat keeps on barking and barking. It keeps on pestering me at night. I have tried everything - intoxicating cough syrups to irritating ayurvedic powder. Nothing has worked yet.
Is it that the dog keeps on barking or is it that I am awake even at two o'clock in the midnight blogging about it that makes it bark. I don't know,I would not know and I would never want to know.
The more irritating it gets, the more I become Sleepless in Seattle, but there is neither Tom Hanks nor Meg Ryan. It is just me....here....alone....
I hope my days with the Alsatian would be just another AFFAIR TO REMEMBER. Probably an affair with no regrets.

Our seniors

From day uno onwards, they have been out there like the US and the Soviet, eagerly waiting for a new follower from the new batch.They are just waiting there to catch hold of us and crush us with "extreme prejudice".

Some may have succeeded, but so many have failed to secure any tail for wagging.

It all comes to ego - ONE BIG EGO that continues to bug each and every one of those seniors. (Thanks Guy Ritche for REVOLVER)

None of them is a saint but all are sinners, filled with nothing less than their selfish desires to keep themselves above others and to just LIVE in their on MANNER.

When u pass them by you can feel the air of anger and disappointment that tries to invade your breath and even try to poison your airs. U are made to do the same to your juniors by the same airs. GOD forbid, I may turn into one of those Zombies feeding in the flesh of the juniors.

Even the Freshers Day didn't make any difference and nothing ever will make the difference.

It will always be like a Indian family - the daughter-in-law will become the daughter and her mother-in-law will never become the mother for her..

The Bourgeois stays exploiting and the Proletariat stays being exploited.
A GRAND RED SALUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A story without a beginning

It has been about three months since St.Loyola became my patron saint. Here I am trying to re-evaluate the equation of my life. In this atmosphere of absolute vacuum, I do feel the longing for the comfort of my couch back at home. Still I feel the breeze of motivation, not while in the classes of LIBA but while walking through its buzzling corridors. More than the noises of the crowd that fills its classes what remains inside me is the silence of those classrooms when the classes are over.

I'm not here to be a rat, b'coz I've toiled enough to reach here. I'm frustrated and I don't want my frustrations to eat me up. So I hope to make others frustrated at me.

Anyone can find me, if the person wants. I'm not a ghost or a shadow but I'm a normal human being. The only thing is finding me is not worth it.

Ciao on the eve of my ORD exam with a FULL METAL JACKET salute.....